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Updated: Dec 6, 2021

If your soul could speak without inhibitions - what would it say. Would it speak of your darkest secrets? The ones you hold in and suppress -repress.

I have learned enough through my educational studies and personal life experiences, to know that nobody is who they seem to be. Behind closed doors there are parts of us we hope to never reveal or if we do, we choose wisely with whom we share it. There is a Japanese proverb that regards to a person's identity. That saying goes like this, "humans have three faces, which means that the first face is what you show to strangers that you come across. The second face is what you show to those you love such as your close family and friends. And the third face, you never show to anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are." Image is all an illusion. We play a role in every area of our life. Personal and professional. Why? Why do we hide our true selves? Our deepest desires? The yearning of our soul? Fear of Judgement- And I understand fear of judgment just as much as the next person. I am cautious about who I tell what and what I do in private verses public. But there comes a point in life that you have to know who you are and know that it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks or says as long as you’re true to you and you’re a good person to those that matter most as well as people in general. It comes down to respect. Do you respect yourself? Others? I do not believe that people who do things privately are any better or worse than those who do the same thing publicly. Either way, the event takes places. Those who do things publicly are braver because they live without regard for what social norms expect of them or fear what people will say or how they will be perceived. I have met many people who have told me their darkest secrets, their twisted pleasures and sexual fantasies. Experiences they had that would alter their life if loved ones knew. Business professionals who would disregard them as part of their inner circle, if they knew the truth. Judgements would be placed and consequences would occur. But why?

I have met people who appeared to have ”everything”; state how depressed they were with life and at times thought about suicide.

The emotions of depression, anxiety, PTSD from trauma and mental health issues- give us excuses to want to “give up.” I read a quote today that read, ”what a funny little thing, this heart. On some days, I feared it would stop. On other days, I was terrified it wouldn’t.”

Many people wear a mask during the day. Smiling and going through the motions of life. While inside they are suffering, afraid to speak out, afraid to lose those around them if they speak their emotions, fear of life. They go home at night and cry themselves to sleep or seek out unhealthy distractions. Distractions of sex, drugs, anything….. This leads me into a deeper discussion. Paulo Coelho in his book: “The Devil and Miss Prym” wrote two quotes that relate to the following discussion. “The nature is human beings. I discovered that confronted by temptation, we will always fall. Given the right circumstances, every human being on this earth would be willing to commit evil…..”“Good and evil have the same face; it all depends on when they cross the path of each individual.” What does this mean you might ask? There have been many psychological studies on the topic of human nature and evil. For example; Yale University conducted the Milgram Study and Stanford conducted the The Stanford prison experiment. Why do we do wrong? We’re humans. Flawed. Searching for truth, light, peace. I want to begin by saying; I do not condone any behavior that harms yourself or someone else. But I am saying I can sometimes empathize/sympathize why situations happen. There is one theory I would like to present - Survival is its own beast and unless you’ve been in that situation you cannot honestly say how you would respond or what you would do. So before we judge people we should know their full story and even if we know their full story; unless you’ve walked in their shoes you can never fully know what you would truly do or how you would truly feel given the same circumstances. It’s easy to say you would do this or you would do that, but life is not simple and sometimes the answer in survival is difficult and traumatic but you don’t always see clearly in the moment or you don’t have the chance to see clearly in that moment; you just do what you feel you need to do to get past that moment and make it to the next minute-day. I have met people who have good hearts but have done some “dark” things and it’s not because they are not a good person- They just weren’t given opportunities that others did, they didn’t have a simple life or guidance. I know that things people do, do not necessarily reflect who they are. There are things I have done throughout the years, that I am not proud of, but they do not define who I am. We all make mistakes, we all have moments where we just are in survival mode and we all have moments of weakness. But that doesn’t define who we are unless it’s something that we consistently do. If we learn from these mistakes and if we strive to be better; who are we to judge ourselves for the wrong we have done. Acknowledge it, forgive yourself and try to be better. Art is open to interpretation - You choose what you see….. I have received criticism for my photography that can be perceived as risqué. But I view it as art. The same way if you visit a museum and observe ancient nude statues or paintings in churches of nude people of the past; why is that acceptable but my photography is not? I believe people wish they could fully be themselves behind closed doors and in the public eye, but fear of judgement hold them back.

If only we could have more open discussions of our individual thoughts, feelings and needs. Without fear of judgement.

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